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Joan & Murray Kurz
Joan and Murray Kurz celebrate their milestone 50th wedding anniversary this December 23, 2001. Their story appears like a marriage made in heaven, but it really began in the dining-room of the home of Murray's parents, Bertha and Harry Kurz in New York in the early 1950's.
Joan and Murray Kurz
It was customary with the New York Hebrew Association of the Deaf (H.A.D.), for its members to come to the Kurz household for casual socials. Among their guests were close friends, Rebecca and Nathan Schwartz. The Kurz' young son, Murray, was a law student at Brooklyn Law School, furthering his education. He had already gotten his accounting degree from NYU on the GI Bill after serving his military time in the South Pacific as a mail clerk and parachute folder in the Air Corp.
On one of these social occasions in the Kurz household, Rebecca Schwartz, like any good Jewish mother, anxious to see her daughter, Joan, married and settled down, noticed Murray cramming for an exam, and immediately showed him Joan's high school graduation picture. Murray thought to himself, "Oy! Not another of my mother's friend's daughters." But something must have intrigued him, because eventually he did call her and they double-dated with some friends for a night of bowling. As the evening came to an end, after getting to know each other until two in the morning, Joan stood at her front door, expecting a romantic end to a lovely evening, but instead received a brotherly pat on the head, to which she responded angrily, "Good night grandpa," and closed the door, feeling as if she had been treated as a child-Murray was an old man of 26 and Joan just 18. It seemed the possibility of a relationship was over almost before it started.
Despite a rocky start, Murray called again to ask for Joan's company for New Year's Eve, but only a day or two in advance, which Joan and her mother felt was not enough notice for a proper lady and she declined his invitation. It took several weeks for Murray to call again and this time Joan accepted and the plans of fate began to materialize. They spent the year courting and made plans to marry in December.
During their engagement, while Murray was a student working at the law firm of Yellin, Levy & Rhinestein earning $25.00 a week, Joan was a student at Hunter college, studying to become a teacher. They realized, with both of them going to school, they would not be in good economic shape to marry, so Joan left Hunter College and went to secretarial school. She got a very good job, as a bookkeeper, earning enough money so that they could marry, while Murray finished law school.
In 1951, a marriage license cost $2.00. As a struggling student, Murray only had .50 in his pocket to put toward the purchase of their official paperwork, so Joan paid the other $1.50 for the investment of her future-the best investment she ever made. They were married by Rabbi Kallenberg, in his home on Grand Concourse in the Bronx, with family and friends on December 23, 1951.
When asked, Joan said the most significant moment of their 50 years together was the day Murray passed the bar exam. They didn't have enough money for a party, but they celebrated together in their fifth-floor walk-up in the Bronx with feelings of pride and accomplishment and a vision of their life ahead of them.
December seems to be a very significant month for the Kurzes. They met in December, they married in December and made one of their biggest life decisions in December of 1966. With his business not being as successful as he would like, Murray visited his cousin in southern California and after much discussion, they decided to move the family across the country. They packed their belongings, the family threw a huge bon voyage party and they boarded a plane with all three children bound for the San Fernando Valley, after having made the most difficult decision of their lives-to leave their families, Joan cried all the way to California.
Thirty-four years later, Joan sheepishly admits she is a pack-rat and still has some boxes from that move which were never unpacked and stored in the garage. Among the items-daughter Gayle's Barbie dolls.
For the first two weeks of their new California life, Joan and Murray stayed with his cousin and then found their own apartment in North Hollywood with a pool. Joan wrote home, "Dear folks, You must be freezing, we are swimming."
Extremely homesick, Joan went back home for the Jewish holidays in October of 1967, only nine months after their move, but something had changed. As she attended services at the Clearview Jewish Center, of which she was still a member, with her very best friend, she realized that southern California had become her real home, she just hadn't noticed.
Murray got a job with Hughes Aircraft as a contract negotiator and stayed in that position for ten years before taking a job as house council for Weight Watchers and Dieter's Gourmet Food Company, the same company that Joan worked for. Murray then moved on and took a position with the state of California as a Administrative Law Judge. He retired at 65 but two years ago, the demand for his expertise brought him out of retirement and back to work for them.
Joan began working for Weight Watchers while still in New York as a "weigh-in" clerk and when she relocated to California, found it easy to go to work for them again. She worked her way up in the company to the Director of the Greater Los Angeles and San Fernando Valley Chapter and stayed with the company for ten years, traveling to other affiliates around the country. On one exciting occasion she presented Jerry Lewis, at his Telethon, a donation from Weight Watchers--$1.00 for each pound the class had lost. Joan had her 15 minutes of fame.
Being a victim herself of Rheumatoid Arthritis, diagnosed in 1977, one of Joan's proudest accomplishments was the years she worked with the Arthritis Foundation through Kaiser, teaching their Self-Help course. She loved it and could really teach with the authority of one who personally knows the disease and its problems. Her family calls her the "Bionic Woman" because of all her replacement parts she has had "installed" over the years.
Joan's deaf parents, Rebecca and Nathan followed them to California two years later in 1968, and settled here, instantly becoming active members of the deaf community and Temple Beth Solomon. Murray's mother, Bertha, moved to California several years ago in her 90s, also becoming a member of TBS, now residing at the California Home for the Deaf, still very active at age 104.
Joan and Murray raised their three children: Gayle, who is the office manager for Temple Ramat Zion and lives nearby, Nancy, who is a homemaker with her two children, living in Oregon and Larry, an orthopedic surgeon, who lives in Detroit. They have presented Joan and Murray with seven beautiful grandchildren and everyone in the family is skilled signers.
We are so fortunate to have Joan and Murray as part of our TBS family. Mazel Tov on your 50 years together.More Profiles...